Boy oh boy, it's been a really stressful couple of weeks for me and my family.
After five and half years, it appears we are coming to the end of a long journey. My mother has taken a turn for the worse and is barely eating or drinking anymore. Of course I don't have a crystal ball and she could always rally, but my instincts tell me she won't be here with us much longer.
I have a sister, and our relationship has been strained over the last 33 years when she left the family house and never looked back. I've had lots of bad feelings towards her over the years from being mad at her for leaving, to leaving me behind to care for both of our parents, to selfishly not visiting or communicating much with our mother and father and for refusing to come see our dad before he passed away.
So as you can imagine, I had mixed feeling about calling her and letting her know what was happening with our mother. I wasn't sure I could handle her not showing up to say her final goodbye to mom. But, I decided to take the high road and let her know. She responded by saying she would be on the road the next day.
Our visit turned out much better than I anticipated. First, I realized how much I missed her. I missed sharing stories, hearing about her life, laughing about all the funny things that have happened over the years. Second, my heart was so grateful that she made the effort to come to see us and spend some time with mom and me. I was thrilled she was able to meet my grandson and how loving and sweet she was to him. She was able to see my daughter and meet my son-in-law too.
She wasn't able to stay long, but wrote me and told me she will come again as soon as she can accumulate some vacation time at work.
Through her gestures of kindness and her words of gratitude for the sacrifices I've made over the years caring for our parents, the anger and hurt was washed away and I felt a forgiveness come over me. It was a long time coming.
My moms going to die, of that I'm sure; but instead of her daughters being distant and cold, angry and resentful, her impending death has given way to the power of forgiveness. What a gift. I know my mother would be so happy that we've both chosen forgiveness over resentment.
So friends, if you're angry at someone or have harbored ill feelings for years, know that forgiveness can happen. It might happen today, it might take years, but it can happen.
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and I wish you all peace and a loving heart.
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