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Things are happening on GoTs, cancelling Vinyl, and the history of Comedy Central.

Wednesday June 22nd 2016
 

The Watercooler

"You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."

While nothing on this week’s episode of Game of Thrones was a surprise, it was still the most insane and hard to sit thorough battle sequence since I suffered through The Pacific on HBO.

“A lot of the predictability of the episode can be laid at the feet of Jon Snow — who is handsome, brave, and not the sharpest sword in the weapons locker. Let me be frank: Jon Snow should never rule anything, ever. If him sitting atop the Iron Throne and ruling Westeros is a fan theory or any kind of endgame scenario, may I submit my reaction to that: Nope.”

Oh good, so I am not the only one who thought this. I thought the meeting before the battle was the most like Ned Stark that Jon Snow has ever seemed, and then he went and did something totally stupid, even though he was warned about not doing it, just like Ned.

“The show didn’t accurately gauge how Sansa’s secrecy would track in the larger context of the battle. People die on Game of Thrones all the time; maybe the showrunners had become so inured to carnage and were so eager to portray Sansa as an independent figure that the deaths of thousands of nameless Stark loyalists didn’t register as being TOTALLY HER FUCKING FAULT. Like, Sansa really got several thousand dudes killed because she didn’t say “Let’s just chill for 15 minutes, I texted somebody” to Jon.” This week’s questions fromThe Ringer's readers includes theories about why Sansa didn’t mention the possibility of reinforcements to Jon.

"In fact, one of the hardest scenes to shoot was the parlay between the different factions prior to the actual battle. Getting a bunch of horses to just stand there all day and do nothing is much harder than getting them to run around. They would fart and pee a lot, often in the middle of [star Kit Harington’s] lines." EW talked to the director about the both the historical and cinematic battle scenes they used for inspiration. And also about how annoying horses are to work with.

Here’s a ten minute video about the making of the battle.

Uproxx has six questions, including Rickon’s baffling lack of zigzagging.

"I am aware how troubling this attraction was, and I, like the rest of both the real and the fictional universes, am in a healthier place now that Ramsay is gone. But his sex appeal made me reconsider who I am as a person, and I learned that I am a person who was sort of into the way Ramsay Bolton bit into that huge sausage after he castrated Theon. I embrace the darkness. I know that now." If you fall into this category of Ramsay’s fans, you need to watch Misfits. He’s nice and hot in that one. 

Decider has a list of some of his other TV work.

Iwan Rheon actually got punched a couple of times by Kit Harington.

Everyone’s new favorite character, (besides Tormund, who is ON FIRE this season) Lyanna Mormont, showed up for a brief second. Don’t worry, she’s still a total badass.

"Maybe she was hoping she wouldn’t need the knights of the Vale but wanted them there in case. More than likely, this will be the most merciless Sansa will ever be as a queen. More than likely her life through the end of the series will trend upward. It’s just that Game Of Thrones keeps preaching non-violence while practicing violence.”  The A.V. Club’s “newbies” recap (A-) points out that they’ve been doing this with Daenerys too. The “experts” review is a B.

Speaking of, Daenerys had some stuff to do that if it was in any other episode would easily be the lead story.

“Shippers, prepare your fan fiction. If there aren’t thousands of pages of Yara Greyjoy/Daenerys Targaryen fanfic floating around the internet by the time the week is over, then I don’t understand this planet anymore.” Here’s /film’s 10 most important moments from this week’s outing, including the Targaryen/Greyjoy alliance/flirtation.

Esquire has this week’s “least garbage person.”

Vanity Fair has this week’s easter eggs and callbacks, including another thing Tormund and Brienne have in common.

"The final game of the NBA Finals and this episode of Game of Thrones — two events you couldn’t safely ignore without somebody randomly popping up outside of your window to shout spoilers at you — aired opposite each other."

Here’s the 6 losers and 5 winners from this week. (I live in Oakland, so you know which team I was rooting for, even though I only actively follow baseball.)

Rolling Stone has a list of their 30 favorite villains. We didn’t even get to check in with #1 this week.

And because Sunday was Father’s Day, here’s a look at some of the terrible fathers in Westeros.

FYI, there’s an app that send out Game of Thrones spoilers as a text message, so if you are pissed at someone and want to ruin the episode, you're in luck (And also kind of a jerk.)



 

Orange Is the New Black returned last week, and if you are all caught up and require a recap, then I’d suggest reading the ones from The Atlantic. Here’s the one for the finale, and the first episode.

Any sentence I could have pulled from this article about this season’s death would be a huge spoiler. Thankfully unlike what so many shows have recently attempted, it isn’t cheap or an example of a fake out that makes fan roll their eyes in frustration. Still, super sad. Only click here if you’ve finished the season.

This season’s entry for Piper Chapman is the worst has an musical easter egg that ties back to Cabaret. Fitting!

 


The Business

Despite giving it a second season renewal, HBO has decided to cancel Vinyl. I’d say this is unexpected, but it was neither a critical darling or highly rated, and there’s been some turnover at HBO recently, and nobody likes getting stuck with crappy shows someone else gave the green light to. Hopefully they can get all that talent a better show.

The CW announced their plan for streaming, and there’s good news and bad news. Bad news for those who watch their shows on Hulu, but good news for Netflix subscribers.

Penny Dreadful, which had an insane season finale on Sunday, announced that it was actually a surprise series finale. I will miss this one.

Orphan Black has been renewed for a fifth season, which the series creators say will be the last. 

Well this is excellent news! Archer has been renewed for three more seasons, though they will all be slightly shorter, at 8 episodes instead of 13.

Netflix is developing Margaret Atwood’s Alias Grace (a book I read, but apparently remember nothing about) as a six part miniseries. Sarah Polley will write it, and Mary Harron will direct. Bad on that pairing, would watch.

Another animated show based on the Ghostbusters is in the works. Ghostbusters: Echo Force will arrive in 2018, but will be set in 2050.

Casting: Honestly I don’t understand how it’s taken this long to get Kristin Chenoweth involved in a live TV musical. She will play Velma Von Tussle on NBC’s Hairspray Live. Lynda Carter will play the president on Supergirl, and Teen Wolf’s Tyler Hoechlin will play Superman. Archie Panjabi will play a recurring character on NBC’s Blindspot. Orlando Jones will play Mr. Nancy on Starz’s American Gods. Samira Wiley will play Gretchen’s therapist in the next season of You’re the WorstJohn Stamos will play the head of surgery on the hospital set second season of Scream QueensRegina King will return for the third season of American Crime, which will be set this time in North Carolina. Tricia Helfer will play Lucifer’s mother on the second season of Lucifer. Paul Schneider and Fiona Shaw have joined Channel Zero: Candle Cove, Syfy’s anthology show of extremely creepy stories. Malcolm Jamal-Warner a parole officer on Amazon’s Sneaky Pete. Wilmer Valderrama apparently craved some job security, so he’s joined the cast of NCIS.


People Talking About TV

“It was like, “But this is crazy! They just gave an entire episode to Charlie, and he gets to talk about Rick James and Prince stories? What is this?” The fact that Dave was given the freedom and the liberty to literally do whatever he wanted to the point where he didn’t even host the show for two episodes in that second season, I thought, “If I had any kind of artistic freedom like that, that would be amazing.”” The A.V. Club posted the second part of their oral history of Comedy Central, and it covers everything from the Chappelle Show, Reno 911, The Colbert Report, Key & Peele and a bunch of others that I don’t love as much. (The quote above is from Keegan-Michael Key.)

"And yet in the spring of 2016, in season four, Inside Amy Schumer aired nine episodes of television (one of which was a clip show) and mostly seemed to be ignored. The morning after her show aired wasn’t greeted with an endless parade of articles about her sketches, and the show’s live ratings occasionally dipped to their lowest point ever." Why did everyone seem to stop caring about Inside Amy Schumer all at once? I’d argue that this season, and most of the previous ones, to be honest never had anything as insanely good as the 12 Angry Men episode, and it also doesn’t help that the episodes show up on Hulu weeks after they air.

“Instead, where other movies and television shows try to work in an issue or two amidst the clashes of a superhero drama or the crime-and-punishment beats of a police procedural, “UnREAL” dives with manic, unfettered glee into a whole host of issues all at once and watches how different political forces ping-pong off one another with unpredictable, explosive results.” The Bachelorette is especially gross this season, so do yourself a favor and watch UnREAL.


What To Watch

I am still on vacation, so here are some things you can watch until I return on Tuesday.

Roadies, Showtime’s drama from Cameron Crowe about the people who make sure a band isn’t just standing on a stage without lights or power starts this Sunday. Tim Goodman calls it “massively disappointing” and Maureen Ryan called it “a Spotify playlist in search of a reason to exist.” Thanks for saving me an hour guys.

American Gothic, CBS’s drama about a family who finds out one of their own is a serial killer, and even worse, who who might have help, starts tonight. If you need a murder mystery that’s the TV version of a beach read, this might be just the thing.

Any Given Wednesday with Bill Simmons arrives on HBO tonight, and the first guest will be Ben Affleck. Decider wonders if this is finally the show that will make Bill Simmons into a real TV star.

Queen of the South debuts on USA this Thursday, and Sonia Saraiya’s review if the pilot is quite positive. If you’ve already watched and enjoyed Narcos and Breaking Bad, then this drama about a cog in the Sinaloa cartel who works her way to the top might be a good bet.

Other TV: BBC America's Thirteen, a drama about a girl who was imprisoned on someone’s home for 13 years, and then escaped, arrives on Thursday. Here's the trailer. If you were on Twitter any time in the last 24 hours, then you probably know that Pretty Little Liars is back. Person of Interest’s series finale was last night, so now you can finally catch up on Netflix. Greenleaf, the Memphis- set megachurch drama produced by Oprah Winfrey (who also plays a member of the family) started on OWN on Monday. EW gave it a B.

Oh, and on Sunday there’s the season finale of this little show called Game of Thrones.

Amazon has some pilots up, including The Interestings and The Last Tycoon. Decider isn’t jumping up and down about either, and thinks both need a second episode for them to really judge. Entertainment Weekly gave The Last Tycoon a B-, and The Interestings only earned a C+

Did you miss the 30 for 30 episode O.J.: Made in America when it aired last week? It’s streaming on ESPN’s site if you did.

Mark your calendars: The Hamilton documentary will arrive on PBS on October 17th.

"A basic episode synopsis sounds like a college freshman’s 19th-century lit paper scrambled into a word salad. Every main characters is either directly sourced from that era’s popular imagination or tangentially related to someone who is; by the end of its first season, the cast begins to resemble a gothier, significantly better–dressed version of The Avengers.” Praise for Showtime’s Penny Dreadful, recently concluded, and one of the prettiest, and most goth shows on TV.

Good lord it’s basically July already. So here’s Decider’s list of the best new stuff on HBO NowHere’s the best stuff arriving on Netflix, which has a fancy new logo.

The Ringer has their guide for what summer TV you should watch instead of going outside.


Odds and Ends

The Walking Dead is either trolling us, or they haven’t made a decision yet, because there are rumors that they shot 11 different versions of the resolution to the cliffhanger from the finale. Sigh. Both options are kind of annoying.

Here’s a post about how Simpsonwave, those videos where vaporwave is laid over repetitive clips from The Simpsons, came about.

Trailers: Goddamn it, the trailer for the Looking movie just made me sad and mad all over again about HBO cancelled it. July 23rd, can’t wait. HBO’s Westworld is taking longer than planned to arrive on our screens, but it looks pretty damn good. Would definitely watch. HBO’s The Night Of...looks good. Would watch. Jude Law plays a young, hot American pope in Sky’s Young Pope. Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church’s mustache star in HBO's divorce dramedy Divorce.

From Scandal, to The West Wing and House of Cards, check out Uproxx’s guide to


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