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The pessimistic optimist

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Hey guys,

Let’s talk about mindset.  While mindset is important in any walk

of life, it is probably most important in the realm of attraction. 
And of all the walks, most men have their mindset wrong.

One of the reasons for improper mindset is no one really teaches

men the right one, while society and culture installs the wrong one.

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Most responsible young men who come of age believe that if they’re

sweet and respectful to women, nice guys, just being themselves,
they will meet the love of their life, and step forward into eternal
bliss.  Clearly this is a fantasy most are quickly disabused of.

But perhaps more important than that is what they DON’T believe. 

They don’t want to believe there is no one special woman, just many,
they don’t want to believe that most relationships naturally come
to an end, they don’t want to believe that most first dates end
with no second date, they don’t want to believe that most phone
calls to women go unreturned and so on.  And when all of this
happens, they get morose, bitter, and start to believe they are
unattractive to women, which is not the case.

As you long time readers know, one of my favorite all time books

is Robert Ringers Winning Through Intimidation, a book all about
mindset.  In that book, he advocates the “Theory of Reality,” which
simply states “most deals just don’t close.”

To people who prefer not to burden themselves with thinking or

acting, that is a pessimistic, cynical thought.  To people who
prefer to get results in the real world, it is an optimistic thought
because it sets expectations.

It’s important to note that Ringer specifically says, “most deals,”

not ALL deals, and that’s what makes the difference.  If you work
on enough makeable deals, a FEW of those deals will close, while
most won’t.  But the deals that do make up for all the aggravation
on working on those that don’t.

This is quite true with women, dating, and relationships.  Most

deals and steps along the way to a “deal” with women just don’t
close.  That’s no reflection on you and them, it’s just the way
the world works.

The man who expects deals and steps of deals to close all the time

is the man forever disappointed because he expects the opposite,
and gets beaten down when it doesn’t occur.  The man who expects
most deals not to close keeps his sense of humor and his desire
to continue acting because he’s getting exactly the results he

Is he a pessimistic optimist?  Of course…and he’s the man who gets

what he wants in the end, with many, many unclosed deals along the
way. He fails more than most, but in the end succeeds more than

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On with the fun,

-John Alanis

“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

PS For best value, I recommend my Ultimate System: Ultimate System

PPS Questions?  Comments?  Send them to

Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too—don’t leave

them out of the fun!



Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc.  MMXV

This email is protected by copyright, MMXV, Art Of Steel, Inc.
All right reserved. Reproduction in any form of any
portion of this email is strictly prohibited without the
express written consent of Art Of Steel, Inc. and John Alanis,

John Alanis
Art Of Steel, Inc. 
4424 Gaines Ranch Loop #1035
Austin, TX 78735, USA
512 892 8839 Phone



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