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Instinct and abstraction

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Hey Guys—

I have, before, marveled in this space at the seemingly infinite

capacity of people for self delusion, especially when it comes to

Instead of thinking in terms of “instinct,” people think about

attraction via abstraction, and are shocked, even embittered when
they don’t get the results predicted in their abstractions.

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When it comes to attraction, people are always driven by their

instincts, instincts evolved over hundreds of thousands of years,
most of those spent living in caves, not in civilization.

Men have the instinct to mate with as many women as possible,

because we are all the descendants of men with that instinct who
survived. By definition, men lacking in that instinct did not
procreate, nor did they assist in the propagation of the human
race.  The more women a man impregnated, the higher the probability
the species would survive and prosper—hence the male mating instinct.

The instincts women evolved were different.  Back in the stone age,

a woman needed a man who would provide and protect both her and her
offspring.  She needed a man who wouldn’t stray to another woman
because that would lead to the demise of her and her children when
she no longer had his provision and protection.  So women who were
excellent at keeping their men “faithful” survived, hence the
monogamy and search for provision instinct in women.

The abstractions about attraction are, of course, a different

matter.  The abstraction is all about love and romance and
courtship and one and only’s and happily ever afters and all the
other fantasy you see at the movies (and the jewelry store, it in
and of itself a place of symbolic provision and protection).

When people devoutly believe in abstractions but are subject to

consequences based on instinct, all kinds of conflict occurs.  Men
who give into instinct and “cheat” are hounded to financial death
by divorce attorneys, and women who seek men who will give them
money are labeled gold diggers, whores, and all kinds of other

What you must understand is this:  we are all driven by instinct,

but have the ability to control, direct, and shape those instincts.  
Abstraction, however, is simply that:  an imagined reality with no
semblance to the one we live in.

The smart man avoids thinking in terms of abstractions, while

managing his instincts, and acknowledging…even embracing… those of
women.  That’s how you win the game of attraction, a game played
in reality, not one played in abstraction.

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On with the fun…

-John Alanis

“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

PS Got something for me personally?  Email it to:

Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc.  MMXV

This email is protected by copyright, MMXV, Art Of Steel, Inc.
All right reserved. Reproduction in any form of any
portion of this email is strictly prohibited without the
express written consent of Art Of Steel, Inc. and John Alanis,

John Alanis
Art Of Steel, Inc.  
4424 Gaines Ranch Loop #1035
Austin, TX 78735, USA
512 892 8839 Phone

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