Does your smell attract women, or not?
The Smell That Attracts Women
Every now and then
I’ll get a message from a guy telling me that while
he likes women, he doesn’t trust them and, in fact, finds them to be scheming creatures.
have always thought the word “trust” is a word like
“equality,” a word that bypasses
critical thinking because it has a strong emotional component. People hear the words and love the
abstraction of them, but pay little
attention to the actual reality.
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If you watch American
Greed, you will see victims of scams say over and
over, “I felt I could trust him.” If you read online
dating profiles, especially the female ones, you will see the
phrase “looking for a man I can trust.”
But when you ask people what “trust” actually
means, they are at first confused that you
would ask them such a thing, then they are bemused
by the fact that they have a hard time understanding it. Often, when you ask that question, it’s the first time
they’ve ever thought critically about
what “trust” actually is.
have never liked the abstraction of “trust,” nor really even
ever the word because both of them contain a personal
emotional component, implying that not only will
people behave in a predictable manner, they
will do so in a way that benefits YOU personally. Moreover,
it implies they will suppress acting in their own self
interest to act in yours, something
which is demonstrably untrue.
When there is a
“breach” of trust, people get extremely angry and embarrassed because their emotional investment and belief is
suddenly violated. But when you look at what their view of
“trust” entailed on the part of the other
person, it is patently ridiculous from the beginning.
I have found the
concept of “predictability” much more useful than the concept of “trust” because there is no emotional
component to predictability.
Probability also goes hand in hand with predictability because
you can assign loose odds to the behaviors you think a particular person will engage in.
For example, in business, I negotiate with publishers, affiliates,
vendors, etc. for the performance of certain services,
ad rates, placements, etc. When
I make a deal, I assign a certain weight to them
doing what they promised, but also make allowances for the fact that they may be lying, they may be incompetent, they may be
plotting to steal my money and deliver nothing, etc. This
is not “negative thinking,” merely an
acknowledgment based on observation and experience that these things happen all the time in business and
that just because I am cool, that doesn’t mean
they don’t apply to me.
Furthermore, I at least think out what I will do when someone engages in lower odds behavior that is detrimental to me, and when
they do so, I have a course of action. More
importantly, I don’t have much of an emotional
reaction because they behaved in a way I found
When it comes to
women the same thing applies. Women act in their own
self interests based on their point of view at the moment. You must acknowledge that sometimes those interests will coincide
with yours, while also acknowledging there are
probabilities she will also behave in ways
that are not in line with your interests—i.e.
she may break a date with you to hang out with a sleazy ex boyfriend who makes her feel chemistry.
My advice is to replace “trust” with
“predictability.” That way you are
emotionally and pragmatically prepared when someone does something contrary to your desires. Something that would
devastate someone bemoaning a breach
of trust will only prove to be a minor annoyance to you, with a course of action laid out.
Predictability trumps trust and makes your
life much, much easier, especially with women.
your smell attract women, or not?
The Smell That Attracts Women
On with the
Alanis“The King of Let ‘em Come to
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