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I have mentioned
before that one of the biggest mistakes men make is
presuming that women experience attraction in the same manner we do.
It is a quite natural
mistake to make—after all, the only point of view we
have is our own, and there’s certainly no one to teach us the reality of attraction, so we default to what we’re
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women see men on dating sites posing with their shirts off,
and men read women on dating sites complaining about men posting
pictures with their shirts off. We, of course, like the idea of women with their shirts off, so we presume women like the
same. And that creates no attraction
Now, don’t get
me wrong—women do appreciate a nice looking man, a well
groomed dude who dresses nicely and keeps himself in good shape. But that visual attraction can disappear the instant
he opens his mouth and often does.
While it has been said that men fall in love through their eyes
and women through their ears, that is only partially
true. Women actually fall in love
through the confluence of all their senses, and one
sense mis-triggered can kill attraction.
Many years ago I went out with a woman and we had a pretty good time.
On the way back to my car, we walked by a spot in the
parking garage that was emanating a
disgusting smell. Women usually experience smell
in a stronger manner than men do (although I have a very acute
sense of smell myself), and I remember her physically recoiling when the smell hit her.
Up until then, she’d been quite open to touch, laughing and having
a good time, but after that smell hit her, that
stopped. I dropped her off and she went
silent—while it could have been anything, I’m convinced that bad smell ended any attraction on her
So yes, women can
fall in love through the auditory, but they really need
the full range of senses. A bad touch, a bad smell, a word said at the improper time can all kill attraction. And a
good touch, a good smell, and the right thing said at the
right time can intensify it.
That’s why you have to consider all the senses when
interacting with women, accepting that at
times you will just screw up no matter how good
you get. Intellectually, this process can bother women just
as much as it does men, but that is irrelevant—as
much as she may want to like you, if that
feeling of attraction isn’t there, she can’t.
This is all not bad
news however. Women DO like men, and are really hoping
you succeed. Since most men think women hone in on the visual
like we do, that’s all the go by. When you
become a multi-sensory man, you have a huge leg up
on them, and will attract women the tall, good
looking, rich dudes with a full head of hair can’t even
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On with the
Alanis“The King of Let ‘em Come to
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