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An important qualification point

Ends Nervousness: No More Nervousness Around Women!

Hey Guys—

If you have been on my list a long time, you know how important

it is to qualify women from the very beginning, no matter if you
just want to have fun or form a legal relationship.

Disqualifying problems from the very beginning will save you a

lot of heartache, and recognizing long term attractive traits
will bring you many good things.

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As part of an unusual experiment in male-female relations,

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One of the most overlooked qualification points when it comes

to women is do you look forward to seeing them?  Not the
abstraction of them, not the idea that you “should” look
forward to seeing them, but truly, internally looking forward
to seeing them.

If you don’t look forward to seeing a woman, especially one you’ve

known or dated for a long time, then you’re probably better off
finding another one. 

One of the issues some men have (and most women have when it comes

to men) is the abstraction of her vs the reality of her.  An
abstraction is when you assign character traits to her that do
not, in reality exist, and view her in a light not in line with
how reasonable people would see her.

When you view a woman as an abstraction (as members of etatist

political movements view “the party” and “the people” as an
abstraction) and make decisions based on that, reality will, at
some time, intervene and it won’t be pretty.  You have to qualify
based on the reality of looking forward to seeing her as she
really is, not as an idealization of her.

One reasons why most marriages fail (and the same reason why

Utopian political experiments always fail) is because both people
have abstractions about what the actual relationship will be like,
and the reality is nowhere close.  Conflict ensues, each party
blames the other instead of questioning the abstraction, and the
relationship joins the rest of the 70% who are miserable.

Where you want to be is looking forward to seeing a woman whose

flaws, quirks, annoyances, and behaviors you are familiar with. 
When you look forward to seeing a woman in reality, and not as
an abstraction, you are on your way to better relationship.

No, looking forward to seeing a woman will not guarantee

relationship success, but not looking forward to seeing her
in reality will guarantee failure and/or misery.

Ends Nervousness: No More Nervousness Around Women!

On with the fun,

-John Alanis

“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

PS Questions?  Comments?  Send them to



Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc.  MMXVI

This email is protected by copyright, MMXVI Art Of Steel, Inc.
All right reserved. Reproduction in any form of any
portion of this email is strictly prohibited without the
express written consent of Art Of Steel, Inc. and John Alanis,

John Alanis
Art Of Steel, Inc. 
4424 Gaines Ranch Loop #1035
Austin, TX 78735, USA
512 892 8839 Phone




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