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Would You, Could You, Wear the World's Ugliest Shoe?

Well friends, another NYFW has come and gone, and it will be a whole five months until it's back. Luckily there's so much that you can see now, buy now in the mean time, phew!

This was my first Fashion Week Experience, and let me tell you, I am largely unchanged. Except I did get to be wildly confused for an hour while I attended the Yeezy Season 4 show. Admittedly, fourteen-year-old me would be delighted to know that she would one day get to attend that... event(?). Our senior editor Meredith Haggerty also attended her first fashion show this week, with the help of many wacky NYFW promotions, which she hilariously recounts here

We also introduced the world to the ugliest shoe/fanciest foot pillow, thanks to Eliza Brooke. 

And finally how you too can have the Gucci look courtesy of our Gucci-est and most prone to accessories writer, Rebecca Jennings.

Until next time, NYFW!—Stephanie Talmadge

How to Fake the Gucci Look, in Several Equations
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Story by Rebecca Jennings

As an unrich, unskinny, and uncool person who does not possess the motivation required to change any of those things, I have always understood that fashion does not care about me.

And nor should it, honestly. I come from a state so irrelevant to the country’s economy that we didn’t even have a Target. Vermonters are not swindled into buying impractical items easily, unless it’s some form of extravagant hiking gear that will live untouched in our garages for decades. Which is to say, why would I spend hundreds of dollars on a shirt that I can’t wear a bra with, when wearing a bra is kind of a must for me?

This "why pay attention if I can’t afford it?" attitude has been so wholly internalized that during my interview for this very publication, I admitted that I was uninterested in "high fashion" and didn’t want to write about it. (This was probably very stupid of me; if you are an aspiring fashion writer, maybe don’t do that.)

But my "cerulean sweater" moment, to use a Devil Wears Prada-ism, was Alessandro Michele’s Gucci. In the words of the New Yorker, his garments are "as if they had been culled from a thrift store to which centuries of Roman princesses had consigned their most extravagant castoffs." In the words of me, they prove I was right about the rule "take off one accessory before you leave the house," in that this rule is dumb and lame.

Do you want to wear a beret that will fall off your head with one gust of wind, and pair it with athletic socks? Very logical, according to Michele. Are you concerned that your outfit contains too much of the color aqua? More like not enough aqua. Do you have a strong feeling that your outfit makes you look like a huge couch? To borrow a phrase from a slightly out-of-touch teenager, that's Gucci.

The obvious problem here is that dresses covered in sequins and embroidered silk bomber jackets are fantastically expensive. And one piece — be it a sequin dress, a whimsical hat, or a fur cuff — does not the Gucci look make. Instead, it’s about curation (stay with me): the pairing of two or three curious items that have the power to Gucci-fy even the most minimal of outfits.

Here, a few non-mathematical equations involving accessories at non-Gucci prices that will do just that.

Dickie + Athletic Socks = Sporty Grandma
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Asos bib with black velvet tie, $16.12; American Apparel striped calf-high socks, $9

Pink Beret + Embellished Collar + Pink Tights = Very Chill Fairy
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Asos pink beret, $19.35, Asos light blue embellished collar, $19.35, Capezio footed tights in ballet pink, $16.50

Brocade Turban + Blue Stole + Fur Cuffs = The Big Comfy Couch
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Anthropoligie Brocade Turban, $9.95, Yves Soloman embellished collar, $137 at Farfetch, Ecosco Fox Fur Cuffs, $14 at Amazon

See the rest of the looks here >>
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Ugg and Teva Teamed Up to Make the World’s Ugliest Shoe
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Story by Eliza Brooke

A few days ago, Mary-Kate Olsen gave Vogue Runway Director Nicole Phelps a quote about the triple-faced fabrics she and her sister used in The Row’s latest collection that I found immensely funny and syntactically gratifying.

“You have to feel it,” she said. “If you feel it, it’s like a pillow.”

There’s a wonderful purity in the Olsens, those tiny girls who spawned copycats and parodies during the mid-’00s as they swaddled themselves in sidewalk-sweeping cardigans, returning and returning to the notion of clothing as comfort, and practically bedding. While others stuff their closets with chokers, Vetements jeans, and Thrasher tees, the codes of Olsen style are fundamental.

I filed that quote in my mental archive and didn’t expect to need it again very soon, but on Wednesday afternoon we received something in the Racked office that recalled it instantly: a pair of white sandals designed collaboratively by Teva and Ugg.

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They’re an abomination, for sure. The shape is that of a regular Teva, with a slab of wooly sheepskin on top of the foot and at the heel. Confusingly, the toes remain exposed. But my god, if you feel it, it’s like a pillow.

If you enjoy the sensation of wriggling under the covers of a well-made bed in mid-winter — sheets properly tucked under the mattress to form a sort of straightjacket — you will understand how my feet feel right now, under my desk, as I write this. So cozy, bound by velcro straps under layers of UGGpure™ wool.

Teva x Ugg has resulted in another, more incredible monstrosity: a boot that clearly speaks to the Ugg side of its heritage.

While the sandal is priced at $175, that one — which has a certain Yeezy-ness to it — comes in at $225. Both cost too much for something that reads as a novelty item, and yet it also seems worthwhile to reward two brands who recognized their horrible synergy and dreamed of a world in which they could forge an object more repulsive than the Croc. The tagline to this project is the only thing it could be: “Suspend your disbelief.”

Forcing my coworkers to look and sending foot selfies to my loved ones, the feedback has been mixed. Cam thought they were ugly beyond belief, and therefore also the perfect Fashion Editor shoe. Annemarie said it looked like I’d just been released from the hospital after breaking both feet. My mother, from whom I inherited a real love of Tevas, which I do wear around on weekends, asked if she could have them.

Another friend asked where they could purchase a pair. The answer to that is on Teva and Ugg’s websites, right now.

I Rented a Dress to Take a Free Lexus to the Marchesa Show with My Fake Instagram Husband Who Was a Woman
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It's dark, and there’s spa music playing, and I’m trying to think of a good joke about tulle. I’m sitting in the second row of the Marchesa Spring 2017 show; I’m there to write a fish-out-of-water piece, but I feel like a fish out of jokes. I miss a few dresses thinking about how all the classic jokes about tulle are cliche now. I curse the design team for using so much of such an unfunny fabric. I miss more dresses. I’m itching to get out and write down my thoughts, and frantically craning my neck to see another pastel gown float by and quickly turn away. A fashion show is simultaneously very short and very long.

I shouldn’t be a fish out of water. At this point, I should be a comfortable fish hanging with these other fish I know, in our common water, which is fashion. But I’m not.

I’ve worked as a Senior Editor for Racked for more than a year, but I haven’t become any more of a fashion person than I was when I started. I love everyone I work with, but Real and True Fashion People scare me. I’ve learned a lot about skin care and the business behind your favorite mall brands, but I’m still the editor most likely to ask "who?" of the designer names my coworkers, and many of our readers, know very well. Worst of all, up until this NYFW I had never, ever been to a fashion show.

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