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Instagram Trends Are Bullshit

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When You Call My Name, It's Like a Little Prayer (to get out my wallet)

It all started, as most moments of deep introspection do, while I was mindlessly browsing Net-a-Porter’s new arrivals and stumbled upon an item that quite literally called my name: Alice + Olivia’s “Elana” Embellished Velvet Mini Skirt. Made of my longtime fabric of choice, embroidered in silver, and dotted with pretty beadwork and crystals, it was already the sort of girlish-glam piece that begged me to click the “add to shopping bag” button — but the fact that it bore my name made me want it that much more.

A quick Google search revealed that this skirt was far from the only shoppable fashion item with which I shared a name, despite the fact that I’ve always considered my name to be not that common.

Before long, I found myself contemplating Tory Burch’s “Elana” Ankle Strap Sandal, with its slim straps and reasonable 3.5-inch heel. Ditto Free People’s “Elana” Leggings, which magically manage to combine two of my favorite things (polka dots and athleisure) into one comfy-looking garment. And while I find the notion of purchasing and owning an evening gown wholly ridiculous — who actually needs a floor-length dress hanging in her closet these days? — I found myself oddly tempted by Elizabeth and James’s “Elana” Cutout Gown, with its ‘90s-tastic spaghetti straps, sultry back zip, and peekaboo detail.

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Clearly names hold a certain appeal when it comes to clothes; how else would you explain the enduring popularity of the preppy monogram or fashion’s current customization craze? But of course, happening upon a beautiful garment with your name printed on its hang tag is very different from chain-stitching your initials on the back of a jean jacket or buying an initial pendant.

It feels like the happiest accident, a sort of sartorial serendipity. Somewhere, somehow, a designer decided that your name was the best name for this particular coat/bag/whatever. It’s also the sort of thing you can keep secret until the perfect moment, when, having just been complimented on your new coat/bag/whatever, you can exclaim, “Thanks! It’s me!”

I’m not suggesting you spend your hard-earned cash on something solely because of its style name — that would be nuts. And by that logic, I would be compelled to buy the objectively ugly (but probably quite cozy) Maine Woods “Elana” Boot, which, sorry, is never going to happen. But when you’re itching to make a purchase and need that extra little push, who better to convince you than… yourself? Elana Fishman, entertainment editor

Entertainment
We've Reached Peak ‘Instagram Trend’ and I'm Honestly So Tired
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by Cam Wolf

Hello, will you click into this article about “neon lights makeup?” What if I told you it was the ~latest Insta trend~? And by that I mean roughly a couple dozen people have posted a picture participating in the trend on Instagram. In turn, content-hungry blogs have rushed to post the newest spectacle from the depths of the internet.

The phrase “Insta(gram) trend” doesn’t mean anything anymore — we should ship it out to that farm upstate where phrases like “French Girl” and “pared down” (should) go to die. But that hasn’t stopped headline writers from abusing the label! So in service of the people who must know every single Instagram trend at all times, we present a very, very long list of “trends” (that are only from the last month), broken down by which to try and which to steer clear of.

See the full list of "trends" >>
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Shopping
LMAO, Remember Soffe Shorts?
Soffes

Does the above image give you intense flashbacks to middle school gym class, cheerleading practice, and/or sleepaway camp?

Extremely same. Soffes, as they came to be called, were the hallmark of a particular slice of middle and high school for a huge swath of girls who came of age in the aughts. According to sources familiar with teens, the shorts are still in vogue among cheerleaders, gymnasts, and “normal teens.”

To a late-blooming nerd like me, it felt as though one day the Girl Coalition held a meeting and decided that Soffes would be our official uniform. All of a sudden they were everywhere, worn in every color of the rainbow at every conceivable practice, rehearsal, and game. They were especially popular, in my largely Jewish town, as souvenirs from bar and bat mitzvahs, emblazoned with the honoree’s name on one of the front legs — or, if they were really narcissistic, across the butt.

And over a decade after our Soffe heyday, a casual mention of the shorts among the Racked staff caused a litany of nostalgic shrieks. Here, in a more legible form, are those shrieks.

Keep reading >>
Just One Thing
The Body Wash That Will Make Your Bathroom Smell as Good as You Do

Davines Oi Body Wash ($25)

This past weekend, my mom walked into my apartment and commented that it smelled amazing. This was great news, because I really needed to take out my trash and I had leftover Panda Express in my fridge that probably shouldn’t have been there anymore.

I knew right away that she was referring to the lingering scent of the Davines Oi Body Wash ($25) I use in the shower every morning, since that’s the main reason I use this body wash in the first place. It makes my entire bathroom — and eventually my entire apartment — smell like a very expensive, slightly musky spa.

I can’t truly put into words how good this smells, which I know is problematic for a story like this. But let me tell you: It smells so good. It smells like you just did yoga and the instructor came around to rub essential oil on your temples. It smells like a hot guy who works as a paddle board instructor. It smells like going on vacation to a place with a floating hotel and a hammock.

If I haven’t sold it to you by now, then I’m convinced you just don’t want to smell good. —Tiffany Yannetta, shopping director 

 

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